What a turnoff!

What a turnoff!
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In the spirit of romantic love, most of us make great strides in presenting ourselves in a manner that is attractive and beguiling. Whether it is for the wife, the hubby or a potential love interest, we choose certain clothing and endure tortuous beauty and body procedures to guarantee ourselves a good showing. But what if those things you thought were attractive to the opposite sex were, in fact, repelling?

Turns out both genders get it wrong in the game of love, often. Intriguingly, many of the reported turnoffs make the same bad impressions across gender lines (note the italicized items below). Even so, men and women still misconstrue what the other might find attractive. These kinds of miscalculations can screw-up an otherwise nice connection, so it is best to get familiar with the most offensive opposite-sex turnoffs and discontinue them forthwith.

Women on men – Most women want a man who is well-groomed and fashionably with-it. However, never overly so in either department as a seemly vain man always appears to be more into himself than his date.

To remain attractive to the general female population, avoid:

• Cheesy hairstyles include faux hawk, mohawk, the Bieber and the Caesar

• Faux hair includes hair plugs and comb-overs

• Untouchable hair includes excessively gelled, pomaded or hairsprayed

• Highlighted and colored hair

• High-buffed or polished nails

• Plucked eyebrows

• Profuse perfume or deodorant usage, or the wearing of common scents like Ralph Lauren Polo or Dakkar Noir

• Abundant tattoos

• Overly tanned skin (especially in the winter)

• Tight or stretchy and sleeveless T-shirts

• Copious jewelry 

Men on women – Ask most men and they will say they want to be with a natural and low-maintenance kind of woman, yet women think that we need to pluck, preen and pick ourselves perfect in order to find and keep a mate. In the process of creating a more “perfect” vision of ourselves, we end up looking less real.

To remain attractive to the general male population, avoid:

• Botox face

• Excessive makeup includes heavy foundation, blush, lip liner, lip gloss, and red lipstick.

• Faux hair includes extensions, hairpieces and eyelashes

• Untouchable hair includes overly teased and excessively hair sprayed

• Acrylic nails and nails designs

• Tattooed eyebrows

• Profuse perfume usage

• Abundant tattoos

• Overly tanned skinned (especially in the winter)

• Undergarment enhancements including Spanx and the Wonderbra

• Sky-high heels

• Copious jewelry


With all this said about turnoffs, I am reminded of something my mother used to say to me when she thought I was being judgmental: “Different strokes for different folks.” Thus, I must concede that there are people, like Kanye West and Nicole Kidman, who prefer an overly manicured mate and the above turnoffs could actually pose as turn-ons. For the rest of us, use the lists above as a guideline for making your next date (at least from your end) turnoff-free.

Piece originally featured in Pacific Sun